Journal: Emmaus Journal
Volume: EMJ 17:1 (Summer 2008)
Article: Making Your Marriage Work, Part 2: Counsel For Wives
Author: David J. MacLeod

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EMJ 17:1 (Summer 2008) p. 3

Making Your Marriage Work,
Part 2: Counsel For Wives1

An Exposition Of Ephesians 5:22-24

David J. Macleod

Dave MacLeod is Dean for Biblical Studies at Emmaus Bible College and Associate Editor of The Emmaus Journal.

Many American citizens are miserable because they believe they live under a perverted form of government. These people are not disappointed in American politics; their discontent is with American homes.2 A moment’s reflection makes one realize that every family has some type of government. Some people are part of a dictatorship. In a dictatorial home the father behaves like a Roman emperor, and all of the other members of the family are regarded as subservient slaves. The attitude of such a dictator is, “When I roar, let my subjects, i.e., my family, listen!” In a family dictatorship, the father is usually the unrivaled boss, and mother acts as his enabling first deputy. The children get their orders through the deputy and have little contact with the “Great Man” himself. Like any dictatorship, this sort of home is held together by threats and fear.

Other families are part of a puppet government. To friends and neighbors, the father may appear to be the leader in the family. Everyone in the puppet government knows, however, that mother is the power behind the throne. She is the proverbial “neck that turns the head.” She makes all the critical decisions, and father goes along because he is weak and fears to cross her. Perhaps you have heard the story about the husband who was bragging to his buddies that he was the head of his house. He boasted, “I make all the big decisions, and I leave the

EMJ 17:1 (Summer 2008) p. 4

little decisions to my wife.” “What decisions do you let her make?” someone asked. “Oh, she decides how the money should be spent, how to discipline the kids, where we go on vacation, the church we attend—things like that.” “Well,” a friend asked, “what big decisions are left for you?” “Me? I decide our family’s view on foreign policy toward Iraq, Afghanistan, and Israel, and whether we should continue sanctions against North Korea!” A puppet government creates enormous problems for the husband, his wife, and his children.

Others live in homes that are an anarchy, i.e., they have no observable government at all. In these homes, every member does anything that suits him or her best. There are no guidelines, and no one is in control. When a government does get established—and sooner or later it will happen—the home is ...

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