Journal: Priscilla Papers
Volume: PP 07:4 (Fall 1993)
Article: The Gift Nobody Wants ?
Author: Gretchen Gaebelein Hull

---

PP 7:4 (Fall 1993) p. 19

The Gift Nobody Wants ?

Gretchen Gaebelein Hull

Gretchen Gaebelein Hull is a writer and lecturer. This article is reprinted from her bonk Equal to Serve (Revell, 1991) and is reprinted by permission. Equal to Serve is available from the CBE Book Service.

Most discussions of human relationships center on questions about marriage and the family, but to be inclusive we must examine another area: the needs of singles. It in no way undermines the God-ordained institution of the family for Christians to recognize that we are in danger of developing an almost cultic emphasis on family that discriminates against singles. Many singles today get the message that their concerns will always come last on the church’s agenda. Pious affirmation of “welcome to our fellowship” has a hollow ring to singles.

I have participated in innumerable church planning sessions where, only at the end of those long discussions, someone has said, “Oh, we probably should do something for singles.” Because of the late hour, those in charge have deferred the problem by asking someone to “look into it.” No, we never exactly forgot those singles—but we never did get any significant programs going, either.

Why not? Why do the needs of singles seem to come last on the programmatic totem pole? I suggest that part of the problem has been unquestioning acceptance of that false equation of marriage with career. As long as we Christians think or teach that marriage is the accepted goal for all women (which by implication means it is for all men, too) we will find it hard to think of singleness as an option, and it will be practically impossible to think of singleness as a gift.

Yet Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:7 strongly suggest that singleness is just that—a gift. He wrote, “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another that.” This entire chapter deals with human relationships and puts a premium on singleness. Have we distorted Scripture so that singleness has become the gift nobody wants?

In recent years there has been a tremendous resurgence of interest in spiritual gifts. The women’s movement within the church has expressed one very valid concern that traditional practices make it difficult or impossible for women to use their spiritual gifts. Now we must ask: Has our preoccupation with marriage and the family made it difficult or impossible for single men and women to accept their singleness as a gift and use it for the glory of God?

Single men need support and friendship, being included and feeling wanted. The myth of the single man as always in demand and thus choosing from among a wealth of soc...

visitor : : uid: ()