Diabolic Directives On The Impending Feminine Advance -- By: Austin H. Stouffer

Journal: Priscilla Papers
Volume: PP 08:4 (Fall 1994)
Article: Diabolic Directives On The Impending Feminine Advance
Author: Austin H. Stouffer

Diabolic Directives On The Impending Feminine Advance

Austin H. Stouffer

(With apologies to C.S. Lewis)

Dr. Austin H. Stouffer is ordained with the Evangelical Free Church of Canada and maintains a practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist in Langley, British Columbia, Canada.

The writer wishes to acknowledge that the style of writing has been inspired by C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters1 but does not suggest that the late great author would necessarily embrace the theology set forth.

My Dear Cohorts:

The urgency of the occasion dictates the unprecedented action on my part of corresponding personally with all of you. Suffice it to say I would not interrupt your fiendish schedules were the matter not of utmost importance. I am deeply distressed with a new tactic the Enemy seems to be employing. Surely each one of you has admired my optimism through the centuries concerning our eventual overthrow of the Righteous. Indeed, as one reviews the rampant lapse in moral fiber throughout all the world in just the last earthlings’ generation, we all have cause for gleeful gloating!

Yet, I observe a cloud imperceptibly gathering that, when full-formed, may well pour out irreparable havoc on our devilish schemes. I speak of none other than the rapid escalation of the female sex into significant positions of authority in the Enemy’s army. With alarming rapidity troop after troop of His finest are moving to permit women to be what they call “Elders” and even commissioning them to the rank of “Reverend!”

Listen and tremble! If membership in the Enemy’s full-time ranks will ever fully open to women, in no time His detestable band of female faithfuls could double or even triple His force of determined, qualified teachers, elders and pastors. One has visions of “revival” for their side of proportions too staggering to contemplate. Denizens of the deep, I am sounding the alarm for us to take up arms with deadly zeal and speedily repel this potentially impenetrable force.

For some of you, the memory of my masterful work in Eden has grown faint. Pity ... it was indeed my finest hour! Let me recapitulate the highlights. My decision to deceive only the woman was brilliant. I still can see her standing there — disgustingly innocent, naive, pristine. Seeing such absence of malice reminded me why I so disliked her Maker. Yet, carefully garbed as I was in the beautiful body of one of His nicer creations (serpents were so magnificent then...) her unsuspecting and unsullied mind became a sure target for deception.

Don’t misunderstand me; a talent lesser than mine easily might have failed, for s...

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