Journal: Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
Volume: JBMW 05:1 (Summer 2000)
Article: Revisiting the Idol of Equality
Author: Kurt Vonnegut

Revisiting the Idol of Equality

Kurt Vonnegut

Harrison Bergeron, A Parable For Today

Editor’s Note: In our last issue, JBMW 4.4, “Shepherd’s Pie: The Idol of Equality,” Tim Bayly wrote about the way equality and egalitarianism have captivated the Church. As a follow-up to this article, we here reprint a futuristic story by the satirist, Kurt Vonnegut. In “Harrison Bergeron,” Vonnegut offers us a humorous look at egali-tarianism run amok. This article was submitted to JBMW from somone completing a Ph.D. in Comparative Literature at Indiana University. He comments, “This is perhaps the best embodiment in literature of de Toqueville’s observation, ‘Americans are so enamored with equality that they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom.’ Even pagans see the absurdity of ‘egalitarianism’ as a utopic vision.”

The year was 2081, and everybody was finally equal. They weren’t only equal before God and the law. They were equal every which way. Nobody was smarter than anybody else. Nobody was better looking than anybody else. Nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else. All this equality was due to the 211th, 212th, and 213th Amendments to the Constitution, and to the unceasing vigilance of agents of the United States Handicapper General.

Some things about living still weren’t quite right, though. April, for instance, still drove people crazy by not being springtime. And it was in that clammy month that the H-G men took George and Hazel Bergeron’s fourteen-year-old son, Harrison, away.

It was tragic, all right, but George and Hazel couldn’t think about it very hard. Hazel had a perfectly average intelligence, which meant she couldn’t think about anything except in short bursts. And George, while his intelligence was way above normal, had a little mental handicap radio in his ear. He was required by law to wear it at all times. It was tuned to a government transmitter. Every twenty seconds or so, the transmitter would send out some sharp noise to keep people like George from taking unfair advantage of their brains.

George and Hazel were watching television. There were tears on Hazel’s cheeks, but she’d forgotten for the moment what they were about.

On the television screen were ballerinas.

A buzzer sounded in George’s head. His thoughts fled in panic, like bandits from a burglar alarm.

“That was a real pretty dance, that dance they just did,” said Hazel.

“Huh?” said George.

“That dance—it was nice,” said Hazel.

“Yup,” said George. He tried to think a little about the ballerinas. They weren’t really very good—no better than ...