Equal, Yet So Very Different: Understanding a Man’s Sexuality and His Inherent Struggle -- By: Mary Farrar

Journal: Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
Volume: JBMW 11:2 (Fall 2006)
Article: Equal, Yet So Very Different: Understanding a Man’s Sexuality and His Inherent Struggle
Author: Mary Farrar


Equal, Yet So Very Different:
Understanding a Man’s Sexuality and His Inherent Struggle

Mary Farrar

Homemaker, Author, Speaker, Women’s Ministry Leader
Copper Canyon, Texas

“It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18).

There is one subject that rarely surfaces in our egalitarian vs. complementarian discussions regarding male/female roles and relationships. That is the vast difference that exists between men and women in the area of sexuality. Extending from that difference are its remarkable implications in terms of our natural inclinations and unique strengths, as well as the growing gulf it is creating between Christian men and women today. This article seeks to address that gulf.

What We Women Don’t Get

“What’s wrong with my husband? Is he over-sexed? He thinks about it all the time; but it seems like the more I give it to him, the more he wants it.”

“Why can’t my husband be intimate in any other ways except through sex? It leaves me cold.”

“What is it with men that they are always struggling with sexual thoughts and desires? Why can’t they get control and grow up?”

These are the questions women are asking today. A 1991 Roper poll of 3,000 women revealed that 54 percent of women believed “men are sexually obsessed.” This was fifteen years ago, long before the porn industry skyrocketed via cyberspace to exceed the income of professional baseball, basketball, and football combined, with literally millions of websites1 and some 800 million porn videos and DVD’s now available for public consumption.2 In the year 2000, Robert Weiss, director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles and co-author of Cybersex Exposed, said 60 percent of all website visits were sexual in nature and “sex” had become the number one searched for topic on the internet.3 It is understandable that Christian women are troubled by what appears to be a virtual epidemic of male sexual sin within the church. In nationwide surveys among Christian men, sexual temptation consistently tops the list as their single

greatest struggle, and the number of those men admitting to using pornography is staggering.4 As a result, in the last decade there has been an explosion of books, support groups, and websites for men with sexual struggles and addictions within the Christian communi...

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