Journal: Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
Volume: JBMW 20:2 (Fall 2015)
Article: A Review of Wesley Hill. "Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian." Grand Rapids, Michigan: Brazos Press, 2015. 160 pp. $14.99.
Author: Derek J. Brown

JBMW 20:2 (Fall 2015) p. 54

A Review of Wesley Hill. Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Brazos Press, 2015. 160 pp. $14.99.

Derek Brown

Pastoral Assistant
Grace Bible Fellowship
Silicon Valley, California

It is impossible to quantify the worth of a good friend. Intimate, meaningful friendships are among God’s greatest gifts, and Christians in particular have a calling to both enjoy and steward such gifts. But how might a Christian who wrestles with same-sex attraction find close friendships in the church? Does his or her sexual orientation produce an obstacle to intimacy with members of the same- sex? These are the questions over which Wesley Hill, assistant professor of biblical studies at Trinity School for Ministry in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, gives extensive reflection in his latest work, Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian.

Contemporary Myths And The Current State Of Friendship

But before delving into the problem of friendship for celibate Christians beset with same-sex attraction, Hill asks a more basic question in chapter 1: Has not friendship been eclipsed in our late-modern society and in the church? Hill observes three widely accepted myths that have shaped our contemporary understanding of and approach to same-sex friendship. The myth that “sex wholly explains the depth our most profound relationships” (10) has fostered—especially among men—the fear that romantic love may seep into their same-sex friendships. The myth that one’s “ultimate significance” (11) is found in marriage and family has furthered the idea that friendships are subservient to the more important relationship with one’s spouse.

The contemporary myth that freedom—understood primarily as independence from committed relationships—is what allows a person to find genuine happiness has struck “at the very root of friendship” (14). Once someone embraces the myth of freedom, sacrifice—an indispensible ingredient for friendship—is ruled out by definition. Given the pervasive and devastating effect these myths have had

JBMW 20:2 (Fall 2015) p. 55

on the place of friendship within our contemporary Western context, Hill is “convinced that all of us could benefit from a recovery of friendship as a genuine love in its own right” (22). Hill’s reflections on the three “myths” currently eroding friendship are apt, and I’m sure few would contend with his desire to retrieve a more robust vision of friendship within the church.

A Recovery Of Friendship

In chapter 2 Hill steps back in time to fin...