Journal: Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
Volume: JBMW 20:2 (Fall 2015)
Article: A Review of Matt Chandler. "The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Sex, Marriage, and Redemption." Colorado Springs, CO: David C Cook, 2015. 224 pp. $15.99.
Author: Jonathon Woodyard

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JBMW 20:2 (Fall 2015) p. 77

A Review of Matt Chandler. The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Sex, Marriage, and Redemption. Colorado Springs, CO: David C Cook, 2015. 224 pp. $15.99.

Jonathon Woodyard

Master of Divinity Student
Bethlehem Seminary
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Relationships are messy. That doesn’t mean that they are not worthwhile. Relationships are a tremendous avenue for growth and joy precisely because they are messy. This is surely the case in the context of marriage. Marriage is the union between two sinners. And entering into this often-messy marital relationship should be done carefully, patiently, and wisely.

Matt Chandler, the lead pastor of The Village Church in Dallas, TX, writes The Mingling of Souls with Jared C. Wilson in an effort to help us think about romance, dating, marriage, and sex. Chandler roots his discussion in the Song of Solomon. This is a fantastic aspect of the book and would pair well with focused reading in the Song. Furthermore, the book is laden with wisdom. Though Chandler is relatively young, it is obvious that God has granted Matt wisdom beyond his years. He speaks about the complexities of attraction, the ins-and-outs of dating, the peculiarities of courting, and struggles of marriage winsomely. These are reasons enough to take up and read what Chandler has written.

Given our cultures infatuation with relationships and sex, one would think it would be easy to access wise counsel for these issues. Yet, though there are innumerable books, articles, and other resources, it seems there is “a profound lack of wisdom and practical know-how” (11). Chandler sets out to fill the gap.

Attraction

Chandler begins with a discussion about attraction. The move from the “natural feeling of being drawn [to someone]” (23) and finally moving towards marriage is full of complexity. For instance, attraction often arises because we see a physically desirable characteristic in another person, but physical beauty can be deceptive and often fades away (26). Being attracted to someone because you find him or her a

JBMW 20:2 (Fall 2015) p. 78

delight to the eyes is a good thing, but “our romance—sense of beauty itself—must run much deeper than physical attraction” (27). In other words, we need to go “deeper than the surface” (32). A person may please the eyes, but are they a person of character? Chandler gives some practical advice for answering that question (31-47). Are they submissive to authority? Does the person commit to things, like a local church and local church leadership? How do they respond in suffering and pain? Looking past the surface, to...

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