Journal: Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry
Volume: JDFM 02:2 (Spring 2012)
Article: Research Brief Biblical Counseling Case Study: When a Parent Fails
Author: Lilly H. Park

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JFM 2:2 (Spring/Summer 2012) p. 56

Research Brief
Biblical Counseling Case Study:
When a Parent Fails

Lilly H. Park

Lilly Park (Ph.D. cand., The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) is Assistant Professor of Biblical Counseling at Crossroads Bible College in Indianapolis, IN and serves as the Book Review Editor for The Journal of Family Ministry and Discipleship. She enjoys discipling and counseling women, traveling, cooking, and running marathons.

“Why would daddy leave mommy?”

The question asked by the two girls is a difficult one to answer with adults, let alone with children. After listening to each girl express her thoughts and questions, I asked them a question: “What would you want to say to your father?” One of the girls said she wanted to know why her father was acting contrary to what he had taught them in the past. She used the word “liar” a lot. The other girl, a precocious child who knew the Bible well, replied that she was pretty sure that Leviticus had something to say about how husbands are to stay with their wives. Inwardly, I was both surprised by her response and impressed with her biblical knowledge.

In my interactions with the girls that day and in the previous sessions, it was clear that they love God and their parents but that they also feel overwhelmed by the changes in their parents’ marriage. The girls are confused by their father’s actions but they love him. It hurts them that daddy claims not to love mommy anymore. They are struggling with “big” adult questions.1

The girls feel confused because their father has become a very different person from the person in their earlier memories. He used to tell the children that a husband is to love his wife. Throughout their earlier childhood, their father would lead family devotions and teach them Scripture verses. He was their protector and provider, but now he has deserted the family. He still quotes Scripture but uses texts to justify his sinful decisions. He still desires to be their father but not in the same home with their mother; in fact, he is seeking full custody of his children.

People who know this father are shocked by what has happened but it is a reminder that all of us are prone to wander. This man’s wayward life could happen to anyone. It is by God’s grace that believers are in Christ (Eph 2:8, 1 Cor 15:10). People could try to make sense of the situation, learning what happened in this man’s life, discovering what went wrong, but, in the end, sin never makes sense because it contradicts the very essence of God’s purpose for man—be holy for God is holy (

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