Equipping the Generations: True Religion: How the Church Can Care for the Single Mother -- By: Rene Gomez
Journal: Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry
Volume: JDFM 02:2 (Spring 2012)
Article: Equipping the Generations: True Religion: How the Church Can Care for the Single Mother
Author: Rene Gomez
JFM 2:2 (Spring/Summer 2012) p. 94
Equipping the Generations:
True Religion: How the Church Can Care for the Single Mother
Rene Gomez (B. A., Moody Bible Institute) is associate pastor for youth ministry Ninth and O Baptist Church in Louisville, KY. Rene has been happily married to Julie for 11 years, and they have three children.
When I was a kid, I heard people call my mom a single mother. Usually, it was said with a hint of pity, but she seemed fine to me. I did not notice any difference in her ability to have fun or spank me as compared to the other mothers on the block. As a matter of fact, she seemed better at those things than the other mothers. She worked, she helped me with my homework, and she was always making some kind of special dessert. Maybe my obliviousness was compounded by the fact that my dad was in my life to do all the dad-stuff with every other weekend.
Two jobs have helped me reevaluate my perspective. As a youth pastor, I have been able to compare my mother’s experiences with that of other single mothers in the church. The reality is that my mother was tired and did not have many friends as she cared for three busy kids and worked long hours at a restaurant. As a police officer, I was able to see what potentially could have happened if my mother did not have Christ or his church. One occasion stands out: I had to arrest a single mother who was high on drugs, and I had to take her son away from her.
If we want to help single mothers, we have to understand they carry the burdens of family life alone. Many times her closest friends are her children. In one way, this situation makes her uniquely gifted at connecting with her children, but the reality is that her children cannot provide the kind of friendship and encouragement she needs. Instead, she has to make sure their needs are met, and so she is forced to move on with life at an intense speed just to provide for them. As she provides for them, cares for them, disciplines them, and tries to enjoy them, her children serve as a reminder that this painful situation was not created alone, but she will face it alone.
The church has an opportunity to make sure the single mother is not alone. We can address the issues she is facing with careful concern. Instead of mentioning the single mother in sermons as an example of “the hard life” and leaving it there, we could publicly acknowledge her situation and exhort people to offer encouragement to the single mothers they know. It does not take much
JFM 2:2 (Spring/Summer 2012) p. 95
effort to take our current Internet and print publications and add the words “for single mothers.” When we serve single mothers as part of our church ministry, we are not saying they didn’t...
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