Journal: Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry
Volume: JDFM 03:2 (Spring 2013)
Article: Training Children for Their Good
Author: Andrew David Naselli

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JDFM 3:2 (Spring 2013) p. 48

Training Children for Their Good1

Andy David Naselli

Andy Naselli (Ph.D., Bob Jones University; Ph.D., Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) is Research Manager for D. A. Carson, Administrator for Themelios, and adjunct professor of Bible and Theology at several colleges and seminaries. Andy has published several book reviews, articles, and is the author of Let Go and Let God: A Survey and Analysis of Keswick Theology, From Typology to Doxology, and contributor to Four Views on the Spectrum of Evangelicalism. Andy is married to Jenni and father to Kara Marie, Gloria Grace, and Emma Elyse.

We tend to hold very strong views about parental discipline, and those views are often rooted in our experience. Perhaps we experienced physical abuse or something that we think is close to it, or perhaps we never experienced physical discipline at all. (I’m the second of seven children, reared for most of my life by loving Christian parents, and my parents did not abuse me. That certainly influences how I approach the issue.) Perhaps we grew up in a church environment that was extremely strict about enforcing guidelines but very weak on applying the gospel to every aspect of parenting.

In any case, it seems like we tend to react strongly to our experience. And since one person’s experiences never completely match another’s, there is simply no way to approach this subject in a way that seems completely “balanced” to everyone because we have such a wide range of perspectives. Because of those different perspectives, people may disagree on what aspects of parental discipline we should emphasize. Our life-experiences strongly influence how we approach the issue and what we emphasize to correct what we perceive as prevalent errors in our various contexts.

To further complicate things: (1) I’m only thirty-two years old. (2) Jenni and I have been married for only eight years (almost). (3) We have only three children, and they’re all young: one turns four this week; one is fourteen months old; and we have a C-section scheduled for the third child in four weeks. One of my children hasn’t even breathed oxygen yet.

This novice position puts me at some disadvantage. It’s like asking a young soldier on active duty to address a group about how to excel in the military when that group includes fellow soldiers and some military veterans. My friend Mike Wittmer joked with me, “It’s probably important to preach this now, before you have teenagers, because I hear that then we’ll be too embarrassed to give parenting counsel.”

Those who are older generally have a more mature and wise perspective. So I want to acknowledge upfron...

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