Journal: Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry
Volume: JDFM 05:1 (Fall 2015)
Article: Older Men, Younger Men Need You
Author: Paul C. Maxwell

JDFM 5:1 (Fall 2015) p. 129

Older Men, Younger Men Need You1

Paul Maxwell

Paul Maxwell (M.Div., Westminster Theological Seminary) is a Doctor of Philosophy student in systematic theology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School under Kevin Vanhoozer. He currently teaches philosophy as an adjunct professor at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, Illinois, as well as serves as research and teaching assistant for Kevin Vanhoozer. He writes at his blog, www. paulcmaxwell.com. You can follow him on twitter @paulcmaxwell. He also pretends to like coffee.

There is a sad and wide gulf between older men and younger men today. Generational discrimination and segregation are alive and, well, discouraging.

We have to pass the torch somehow, but so many of the bridges have been burnt. Younger guys need older guys. Older men, by God’s design and grace, there are things we will get from you and no one else. Especially those of us without dads, or Christian dads, or engaged and intentional Christian dads. Yet the decades sadly so rarely seem to play well together.

As a younger man myself, I have tried to identify how exactly older guys can love, exhort, and invest in younger men around them — men like me. On behalf of other younger men, with humility and boldness, we plead with our older brothers for five things.

1. Love

Young men are often asking of older men, “Do you care about me? Do you really care?” We can watch YouTube videos

JDFM 5:1 (Fall 2015) p. 130

for advice, wisdom, and inspiration for life’s complexities. With Christian blogs today, we can access answers to most every life question without even picking up the phone. We should still ask you, but we don’t need older men mainly because they’re smarter. Young men need steady love, a love that shadows the love of the Father (1 John 2:13–14). We need that, and we are on a journey with monsters on the horizon — monsters deep in our own hearts and all around us. You, the older man, are not necessarily our dad, but you are a “father’s friend” — a “neighbor who is near” (Prov 27:10), who teaches us about “reproach,” “prudence,” “suffering,” “adultery,” and “cursing” (Prov 27:11–14) — how to do (or avoid) all of it. The king says “do not forsake … your father’s friend.” So, we’re here. At least some of us are. Not forsaking. Maybe annoying, but not forsaking.

2. Stories

Young men need to hear, “Everything’s going to be okay...