Journal: Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry
Volume: JDFM 05:1 (Fall 2015)
Article: Why I Don’t Want To Raise An Obedient Child
Author: Lyette Reback

JDFM 5:1 (Fall 2015) p. 135

Why I Don’t Want To Raise An Obedient Child1

Lyette Reback

Lyette Reback is a Jesus-loving wife to David and mom to fifteen amazing children. She just so happens to believe that her children and yours will change our world for good and she hopes you will join in that belief at her blog, Believe With Me, a ministry that encourages moms and give hope and solutions for the modern challenges of parenting. For more of Lyette and her family, you can follow them on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

It’s funny the things people will ask me when they discover I have fifteen children. Most times, the questions are a barrage of “How do you do it?” and “Don’t you know what causes that?” Sometimes the questions are heartfelt — “How did you get to adopt four children?” or “Why have so many?”

But one of the most important questions that rarely gets asked is “What’s the most important thing I can teach my children?”

Of course the most vital thing to teach any child is the redemptive power that faith in Jesus gives us. But past this, most parents just tend to focus on raising well-behaved kids.

As if being well-behaved is the end-all goal of Christianity. Be good. If I have “good” kids then I am a good parent. If my kids know all the rules and follow them then I have done my job. An added bonus may include a college education or an exemplary skill of

JDFM 5:1 (Fall 2015) p. 136

some sort, but truly it just boils down to their behavior, right?

Wrong.

I can see how we easily fall into this trap … and yes, it’s a trap. When the children are small we are basically relegated to making sure the child survives the day — no matter how many times they try and self-destruct between jumping of the couch, climbing out of their crib, and swallowing everything possible to block their windpipe. We begin to think to ourselves that if we could ever just get through a meal at a restaurant without being humiliated, make it through Publix without the three-year-old having a total meltdown, if we could just get them to listen to us and do what we say, we will have done it. Done our jobs. Get those little wee beasties tamed and they may even manage to make us as moms and dads look pretty good in the process.

I am in no way saying that obedience itself is not important. It is. In fact, your child’s life may very well depend on them stopping when you ask them to thereby avoiding being run over in the street. We must teach our children to listen to us and obey, but this is something that is rarely accomplished completely...