Journal: Reformed Presbyterian Theological Journal
Volume: RPTJ 11:1 (Fall 2024)
Article: Finite Servants Of The Infinite God: The Surprising Freedom Of Being Rather Small
Author: Matthew V. Everhard

RPTJ 11:1 (Fall 2024) p. 27

Finite Servants Of The Infinite God: The Surprising Freedom Of Being Rather Small

Matthew V. Everhard

Adjunct Professor of Evangelism and Chair of the President’s Council
Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary

Introduction: My Panic Attack In The Pulpit

On the Lord’s Day, August 4th, 2024, I woke up feeling great about the day. I preached the 8:30 AM service with much joy and the help of the Holy Spirit. During the Sunday School hour, we had a wonderful interview with a young couple ready to join our congregation. When 11:00 AM came, I greeted the folks with more than a little happiness and began my sermon as usual when disaster hit. Midway into the first point, my throat began to tighten up. I felt weak and imbalanced in my legs. I overheated and began to sweat. I tried to get water and had to sit down. I couldn’t speak for a few moments. Several people thought I was having a stroke. As my wife and two elders approached me on the platform, I knew I was either experiencing some form of spiritual warfare or else having a full-blown panic attack. I hadn’t had a panic attack in more than a decade. But there I was, completely locked up and unable to go on. This had never happened to me in twenty-five years of full-time preaching.

I just couldn’t go on that day.

Behind the scenes, the pressures were mounting. There were pressures at home. Pressures at work. Demands of my time. People to care for. Strains and trials that only pastors know about. I also happened to be taking a medication called Doxycycline for a tick-borne infection that may have exacerbated my pre-existing condition of bradycardia (abnormally low heart rate). Whether it was body, mind, or soul, I ran into a brick wall of human limitation and simply couldn’t preach another sermon.

I came home and crashed. I laid in bed for the better part of several days, wondering what happened to me. Doctrinally speaking, what happened was an acute crisis of mortal, creaturely finitude. Let me hasten to define that term.

The Doctrine Of The Infinity Of God

General Definitions

Human finitude is, of course, the opposite of the divine attribute of God’s infinity, which is to say, the Lord’s boundlessness, greatness, or immeasurability. Speaking quite literally, we cannot measure God in any way by any possible tool. He cannot be weighed in either British stones or American pounds. We cannot put a measuring tape around His biceps to gauge His strength. We cannot put enough candles on the cake to in any way ascertain His age, as He is beyond time. We cannot measure His IQ on any standardized test to compare His relative intelligence. In any and

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